The Forbidden Kingdom - Movie Review

Going into this movie, I was definitely not expecting anything. I figured we’d see some fight scenes, some hot Asian chicks, and cringe at the horrendous melodrama. Well the fight scenes were there, as were the hot Asian chicks, and I indeed cringed at the melodrama. I was not expecting the comedy to actually be more than passable. I got some real and genuine laughs out of The Forbidden Kingdom, Jackie Chan especially.

One of the crowning highlights was when Jet Li says his first line in the movie, “YOU FOOLR!” Yes. He said it exactly how I wrote. I’m sure the producers left that in there just for shits and giggles. The entire theater burst out laughing when he said it. Honestly I had a much easier time understanding him when he was speaking in Chinese. For comedy effect, they milked the fob accent as hard as they could. Then they had Jet Li…laugh. Have you ever seen him laugh in a movie? Off hand I can’t think of one, although I have not seen all of his films. The sight was just eerie to behold.

Personally I think they should have had Jet Li play the role of the Jade Warlord. His natural stoicism would have made him a better villain in my opinion. His personality is just somewhat at odds with the Monkey King, whom he is supposed to be. The Monkey King didn’t feel as erratically frivolous as he should have been.

Jackie Chan doesn’t really do his usual stunts where he tries to play human thread the needle with all the furniture around him. He hasn’t done that in a while, I supposed he is getting old. The duel with Jet Li was more than a typical fight though. I believe the producers realized the audience would want to see a crazy, humanly impossible, kung fu match. In that respect they delivered. That particular fight scene was unnaturally prolonged. I doubt I would ever care to see it again, but for a first time viewing it was actually entertaining.

The entire plot was horrendous to begin with. You knew that going in. No one over the age of fourteen was expecting anything different. My real problem is with the white guy. Why? Just… why? It doesn’t fit. It made the entire Asian cast speak horrible English, some of which was gibberish. He looked like a chimp thrown out to sea throughout the entire movie. He learned some kung fu, but in the end, all the real fighting was still done by Jackie Chan and Jet Li.

Anyways, I don’t particularly regret the time I spent in the theater for The Forbidden Kingdom. Still I don’t think anyone who doesn’t enjoy bad movies should see this. The Forbidden Kingdom really is one of those bad movies that you will enjoy if you like bad movies. It doesn’t really have anything of substance, although Jackie Chan does have a few moments of shining glory.

Anyways.

YOU FOOLR!